If there is one thing I have learned in my experience so far it is that failure is going happen and it is a part of the path to success. My own father always reminds me that it is not how you fall, but how fast you get back up and learn from that experience. For me, I find I learn the most in these moments when I have to get back up. The harder the fall and easier it is to dwell in that moment and not get back up and try again. And in my experience, when I have fallen the hardest, my greatest successes were just around the corner waiting for me to get up and try again. In this post I will cover how to make the most out of failing.

Getting comfortable with failure can be difficult especially for us workaholics and overachievers. We take pride in our work so when we fail we take it personally. But, once you get more comfortable with failure as just a part of the process, you start to tackle new projects and goals that seemed impossible before. This is because you’ve learned that failure is the worst thing that can happen. Once you set your mind to a goal and are mentally ready for failure all you have to do is dust yourself off and try again. 

As someone who has had her fair share of failures along the way, the one that sticks out the most to me was when I was studying for my Certified Information Systems Security Professional (CISSP) exam. This exam is one of the most difficult exams in the security industry and I certainly did not pass it on my first go at it. After months of studying I found myself questioning my competency when I didn’t pass the exam, especially since my background was in biology. What helped me tackle this setback and seemingly impossible goal was that I would time box my disappointment. I gave myself twenty-four hours to be mope around, be sad, non-productive, etc. After that twenty-four hours though I was back to hitting the books to make sure I did better the next time around.

It’s critical to focus on what is in your control, which in most cases, is your persistence. The numbers game is a perfect example of this. No matter how many rejections you get if you keep applying for jobs, eventually something will come through. You can apply this approach to other goals as well. Turn an impossible goal into an achievable one by dividing it up into small tactical steps.

Think about it like this. Say you want to climb a mountain. Along the way you may find yourself taking a detour. But every so often, you should look up to make sure you’re still heading toward the mountain. With every step you take you get yourself one step closer to reaching the top. Even if you fall, stumble, or get lost, eventually you will find yourself on top of the mountain that seemed so impossible to climb in the first place.

Failure teaches us persistence and with persistence we can conquer the impossible.

Now that we are starting to get comfortable with the concept of failing, let’s dig into how to stay positive when you do fail. So you’re trying to reach that impossible goal and you’ve broken it down to smaller more tangible goals. A key part of this process is making sure the goals you set are in your control. Often times you can influence whether you get a promotion or pass that certification but you cannot guarantee the outcome. What you can control is how much effort you put into a given task. Growing up my dad always wanted me to do well in school, but more so he emphasized that it was more important that I gave it my best shot. There will be times where you give it your all and you fail. The key is to learn from that failure and to continue to practice your persistence. This is one of the most valuable lessons he has taught me. You may not be able to control the results but you can control whether you put your heart and soul into something. So break down your impossible goals into tasks you can control.

So what happens when you fail at one of these goals? This is a reasonable and expected outcome, but it does not have to define the journey. When you fail try to find the positive. Remember these are the moments you will learn the most in.  Even though they seem pretty awful when you’re going through them, when you look back it’s truly astonishing how much you can learn and grow in these moments. So much more than when success is just handed to you on a silver platter. Even though it can be difficult, try to look at the failure as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Now that you have conquered that fear of failure, go on and tackle those impossible goals. And don’t let a setback here or there keep you from achieving your dreams. Take a moment to reflect and continue to push through, success is just around the corner.